This is a story about going back to China where I was born. I was adopted at age five in an orphanage in Shenzhen. Sometimes, I miss Shenzhen. I have both good and bad memories. But I do always question why I was adopted, who put me in the orphanage, who my caretaker was or who was my crib-mate was. I love my parents as my own birth parents. When I went to China with my family, the government paid for my trip. The government paid families with Chinese children because they want us to go back andvisit the country where we were born in.
I was at the front of the orphanage building, taking a breath before I went in. I emotionally felt nervous, wondering what it looked like or the room looked the same? I have not been back since I was adopted. As my parents and brother walked with me to the front door. A woman came out with the biggest greeting smile ever. She said her name was Miss Pan. She was wearing a simple white dress that went just at her knees. In her hand, she had something; it looked like a photo? When she came closer it indeed was a photo. In the photo was a baby wrapped in a white fluffy blanket. She had a little cleft lip problem, that photo was me. My ma was just in love with the photo that she ended up writing about it for her job. I was shocked to see it, only because I never saw it when I was small. After all that excitement, we all went into the elevator. It was still the same as the last time I saw it. It was small, smelly and was a cloudy silver color.
We stepped out of it, I was a bit eager to get into the rooms. The first room we saw was the preschool classroom. The classroom itself was covered in a baby pink and blue with some light green here and there. It also had some of the kids’ drawings. The kids were so adorable. My ma asked who my preschool teacher was, but they didn’t know because the teachers don’t stay in the same classroom every year. It was nice to see the room but it was not the same room I was in nine years ago. Each room we went had a different color like one was a green grass color, white color, ocean blue color or a yellow color. Also each room we saw didn’t have many kids, like about five to ten kids per room. My family asked why was there less kids in each room. Miss Pan said that the government gave away free surgeries with kids that were born cleft effected. I was supper happy. It felt like when a bird singing a happy tune for me to know that birth parents don’t have to give up their child because they can’t afford to pay for their child’s surgery. Another good part was that Miss Pan kept pointing out were the kids being adopted. Itfelt like a swarm of kids were going to be adopted. Some of my question was answered but not all. Like how my birth parents kept me for ten days after I was born or like my birthday is not actually my birthday but is near it. So after we left the orphanage I felt really happy to see my old orphanage have less kids or see kids going to be adopted and how I felt at peace too see how it is doing.
After the trip I felt happy. In the beginning I always questioned myself who I was. Why did this happen? Was there a reason why I was left behind? The answer is that China is too crowed and people are too poor. Another reason is that my birth parents did what they did because they loved me dearly. This event taught me to be who I am and to be happy for what has happened. Only because I wouldn’t have a great family, friends, education, teacher, or learned about what the world it like. In the beginning I was the happy, smiley girl; the end I still am the happy, smiley girl but have matured on what the society is like in China. And now I don’t question whom I am because I am Sophie Guo Qing J. who is a loving, nice, happy, and enjoys life even if there are some bumps on the road person.
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