Abby's Story

Hello beautiful girls! My name is Abigail (Abby) Qi Stiffler! I live in the great state of Montana! Did you know we have 4 times more cows than people? That's just...sad. And what's even sadder, is that we have very, very few Chinese American adopted girls. But why? We're half Chinese, half American! We are the two hardest languages to learn! We are diverse, unique, and beautiful! 


So here is the story of my Chinese self, my identity, and my adoption. 

In Anqing, Anhui China I was born on June 23, 2000 (or maybe a few days earlier, I don't know) and was left at the Lingbei Infant School. On June 23, 2000, the Lingbei police found me, and brought me to the Children's Welfare Institute of Anqing City. Here I was loved, cared for, and given the name Zhu Shuqi. On May 14, 2001, my parents adopted me. I was sick, and very scared. Once I was given to my mom, I clung to her necklace, and somehow holding it comforted me. I was brought back to Montana, and lived as an only child with my mom, dad, and dog, Lizzie. The summer of 2002, my sister, Ellie was born. I loved her, played with her, and never thought of her differently because she didn't look like me. In 2008, my second sister, Jane was born. But by this time, I had already faced some problems of me being Chinese. I'd been told I had weird squinty eyes, and a flat nose. All the kids at school did the "my mom is Chinese, my dad is Japanese, look at what they did to me!" rhyme. But I never had the courage to tell them to stop. I had also noticed that I was different than everyone else; and it made me feel uncomfortable and left out. Later, in 7th grade, I wanted to start wearing makeup. But some girls at school told me that I had such weird eyes, and that makeup just wasn't gonna work for me; and that you wouldn't be able to see it, and I'd look weird. I once again believed them, and didn't stand up for myself. Finally this year, thanks to youtube and my mom, I've started wearing a little bit of makeup. Something you can see, fits my style, and doesn't require hours and hours of work. I've found who I want to be. I'm still working on completely accepting myself, and the fact I'm Chinese. I find myself wishing I had blonde hair and blue eyes. I still have those moments I wished I was Caucasian more than anything. But if you look closely, Caucasian has the word Asian in it. So can't I be both?

Ever since I can remember, I've wanted to go back to China. Finally, this past 2013 summer, I got to. I had the opportunity to see some of the thousands and thousands of amazing Chinese artifacts, historical places, and tourist attractions. I got to hold a panda, walk the Great Wall, and see the Terra-cotta Warriors. But the most important thing was seeing my orphanage. I got to see some of my old nannies. They even remembered me. Then I visited my Finding Spot. The Lingbei Infant School. It brought many tears, and much happiness to see that it was a bright and cheerful place. To see my birth mother cared, and wanted to leave me at a happy place. The neighborhood around the preschool is probably where I would have lived. We left a poster there, and hoped someone with any information would call. But we had no luck. But now I have decided to try and find my birth mother and birth family. It will be difficult, and highly unlikely, but it is always worth a try. I want to believe, need to believe, that she is out there somewhere. And deep deep down in the depths of her heart, still loves me. 


Being adopted has been hard for me. But it has also made me stronger. It has made me who I am. And I have been blessed to have the family I have now. Just remember, no matter what stage you are in of accepting yourself, that you are beautiful! You are loved! Never give up, and never lose hope! You are adopted, and that is wonderful! You are unique!  You are CHINESE! ❤️



~Shuqi