I am somewhere between. Somewhere between being Chinese, and being American. But which side am I more on? Certainly not Chinese. I can't read, I can't write, and I can't speak Chinese. I have no idea what is going on in China, nor do I live there. Honestly, I only lived there for the first 11 months if my life! So I am more American? Nope. I don't look like the 'traditional' American. I wasn't born in America. And I can never become president because of that. So, what am I? Can I be both? Is it possible?
For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to go back to China. I've often felt out of place, here in the U.S. So when I got to go back this summer, a feeling of relief washed over me. I no longer stood out. I was no longer the minority, but the majority! Everywhere we went, other than our tour group, I looked just like everyone else! My birth country treated me as its own. With open arms and acceptance. What I mean by this is that the people spoke to me as if I spoke Chinese. They treated me as if I lived there. To me, it was the greatest feeling imaginable. Where I belonged.
There is some difficulty being somewhere between. A hard time finding who I am. But there are also positive things about being both Chinese and American. I have 2 different cultures. More holidays, and lots of different traditions. I will forever love being Chinese and American, despite the difficulties. I have to always remember how blessed I am to be both; and to have the wonderful families I have. Hopefully, someday, I will meet my other family, and become more in touch with my other half. But for now, I can only love what I know. 🇨🇳
Love,
Shuqi
